A 2004 Restrospective on Rush Limbaugh, "stampeder extraordinaire."

Rush Limbaugh and the Jock Straps

12/12/04

One of the big stories just out is the NBA reaction to Rush Limbaugh's call to disbandon the league or change its name to the "Thug Basketball Association." Seems that Rush thinks the fans go the games to see "The Crips versus the Bloods."

Rumor has it that the NBA owners were quite scared that John McCain and Zell Miller were going to introduce anti-trust legislation against the NBA and force it down to the old AAU status. That however proved to be a false rumor after ex pro-athletes Jim Bunning, Jack Kemp and former NFL all star-coach's son, George Allen assured David Stern that there was no such plan.

However, when asked about the racist implications of Limbaugh's remarks, Senator Allen (R-Va) told them they ought not to be stampeded just because Rush got heated up and said something nasty. After all, folks with true moral values aren't barred from righteously indignant name-calling.

Mr. Stern then asked Senator Allen if - in the spirit of the NBA sanctions against Artest and Co. - the FCC could suspend Limbaugh's radio show for the rest of the NBA season. Senator Allen was quick to respond that Limbaugh didn't do anything Karl Rove hadn't approved of and that people in high places were too appreciative of Rush's contributions to the recent election to take a stand contrary to the powers that be.

Jerry Sloan of the Utah Jazz then suggested that at least Rush ought to be challenged to a wrestling match either with Donovan McNabb, Karl Malone or Michael Moore.

Phil Jackson suggested that Limbaugh needed to get into Zen study which might even have an effect on his back pain.

Latrell Sprewell thought there might be in impossible physical act Rush could be ordered to perform before the FCC decided to not take action.

Larry Bird offered to arm-wrestle Limbaugh with both hands tied behind him, but nobody took him up on it because if white men can't jump what makes anyone think they can arm wrestle?

Rush also said, "Call 'em gangs. You have the Laker Gang, you have the Heat Gang, you have a Timberwolf Gang [distortions of official team names], and let 'em strap up out there, and let 'em market their CDs. Instead of selling concessions, sell CDs out there at the concession stand."

Now that makes a lot of sense, Rush. Do you think Artest would have gotten up off the scorer's table and into the stands if a CD had landed on his chest?

And can you hear Rush trying to do Hip Hop?

"If a fight breaks out - hey it's what happens. The beer gets tossed and the players doin slappins. If a cop gets bloodied its a bonus for the gang cause it's the Thug-B-A for your money get the bang!"

I heard that a certain outspoken retired NBA coach cornered Rush and asked him why he spilled so much bile about basketbrawl and had little to say about Humvee armor?

Rush told him somethng to the effect that "The thing you gotta understand about these liberal elite NBA athletes is that they will say and do anything for fame and fortune. It doesn't matter who gets hurt with these guys so long as they can sell their stuff and people keep tuning them and the NBA in."

© Arthur Ruger 2004